“I’m sorry but…”

The phrase that makes me cringe. 🙂

I have met a person, we’ll call her mom… that’s a joke… not my mom… we’ll call her Sally. Sally apologized for everything. I remember standing next to her at the kitchen sink. The glass in my hand slipped and fell in the sink. Sally says “I’m sorry.”

For what? I think.

Sally said I’m sorry to anything and everything she was uncomfortable about. You might think, well it’s because she’s so nice and considerate. I would agree with you that she is super sweet. And she has no power. She is not someone that would stand up for herself when necessary. If she’s given any power, she very quickly gives it away.

There are times when it absolutely appropriate to apologize. If you did something that you had control over that you feel harmed or inconvenienced someone else. You should own it and apologize. It may or may not help, but I believe the recipient appreciates your remorse.

However, if you can’t control the circumstances, there is absolutely no reason to apologize. None. And if you feel compelled to apologize… do not say “I’m sorry but…”. The word but after any phrase immediately negates the statement. “I love you but…”

Every time you say “I’m sorry.” for something that is absolutely not your fault, you give away your power. Your power is what gives you self confidence. Inner strength to be a better version of you. Your power helps prevent you from being a door mat.

Do you apologize often? Pay attention to when you say “I’m sorry.” What was it for? Could you have simply not said anything? The conference room is hot… you instinctively want to say, “I’m sorry the room is so hot everyone but the AC is malfunctioning.” Right?

First, you can’t help the AC malfunction, so why would you say I’m sorry. Not your fault. Out of your control. You can say, the AC is malfunctioning and it’s going to be a bit stuffy in here. Does anyone have an idea of where else we might meet?

Your job today… as everyday… is to stay aware of your words today.

Talk to you tomorrow!

*HUGS*

Jen Thoden

PS. Sharing is giving which is just good karma. Share this post so that others can benefit from this positive message. Thanks in advance 🙂

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