Let’s imagine that you’re going to a job interview for a position that you REALLY want. You can’t believe that you got a first interview. You’re scared. You’re afraid of blowing it.
In fact, the last 2 job interviews you went to, you didn’t get. So, now you’re REALLY afraid of messing this one up.
You’re nervous. You imagine all the dumb things you might say. You tell yourself “Don’t mess this up.”
At the same time… you may be also saying to yourself “I’m such a loser. I can’t believe I messed up the last 2. What makes me think I get THIS job?!”
“Don’t mess up. Don’t freak out. Don’t say anything stupid.”
Do you think you got the job? Probably not.
What you focus on expands. It’s the law of attraction. You can apply this to any area of your life.
But before I give you more examples, let’s analyze the job interview scenario.
In this example, you focused on events that happened in your past. Things that you can not change and yet you beat yourself up over it. You already convinced yourself that you will fail before you even got to the appointment. Your words of “Don’t _____” are actually commands to your subconscious to DO whatever is after the word “Don’t”. Did you know that? Your mind does not hear the word “don’t”… only the command after it.
Now look at all the words in the scenario and see how many times you told yourself to fail.
Not once in your self talk did you ask yourself “How can I do well in this interview today?” “What can I do to be successful?” “How can I do well in this interview and get this job that I REALLY want?”
The question of HOW is powerful. It’s a power question. It opens your mind to possibilities and opportunities that you would never see if you focused on your failures and future you can not possibly predicts.
If you can so easily tell yourself that you’re going to mess up in the interview… couldn’t you just as easily tell yourself that you’re a rockstar and will nail this interview?
Why not? Both aren’t true. They’re just stories you’re telling yourself. But the fact is, you believe whatever story you tell yourself. So, make up an amazing story. Imagine a scenario that is amazing and believe it.
Your interview is in the future. You have no idea what will happen. So, why focus on all the things that could go wrong? What can go RIGHT?
Your imagination is extremely powerful and you can use it to your advantage… or you can use it to your demise.
Think about a child in his room at night. He has convinced himself that their are monsters under the bed. The more he thinks about these monsters… the more scared he becomes. He’s trembling. Sweating. Can’t sleep. He has imagined the worst possible scenarios. If he looks under his bed… he might die. Be attacked. See something horrible.
But when he finally looks under the bed… nothing’s there. It was all in his head. He could have just as easily imagined fairies and diamonds under his bed. Neither is true. Both are stories he can tell himself.
What you focus on expands
You can almost guarantee your failure if you hear yourself say any of the following:
“I can’t afford it. I’m broke”
“I’m fat. Why can’t I be thinner”
“Why didn’t he tell me he loved me?”
“Why am I always forgetting this?”
“I failed the last time I tried this”
“I don’t have time for that”
I can keep going.
We are so programmed to think negatively that we don’t even realize we do it all the time. Our subconscious will almost always focus on the negative. It’s its way of protecting you from change… from what it perceives as bad… even if change is in fact good for you. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between good and bad. It only believes what it’s been told for years.
So, if you’ve told yourself, over and over, that you’re fat. Why can’t you be thin? I hate eating vegetables. Being thin is for teenagers. It’s too hard to lose weight. I’m always hungry on this diet. I never have time to work out. That work out makes me too sore. I’m too tired. I messed up yesterday so what difference does it make if I eat too much today. No one cares.
We can rationalize ourselves right into a corner… about anything.
So, how do you apply this lesson to your success?
First, you have to know what you want. What is the RESULT that you want? And WHY do you want it. This is important.
Whatever your goal is… I want you to write it down and list 3 reasons why you want to achieve this goal.
I will be 10 pounds thinner by the end of the next 30 days.
1. I want to fit into my clothes again
2. I want to set a healthy example for my family
3. I want more energy
Then… you focus on nothing else but that ONE goal for next 30 days.
You ask yourself, “HOW can I release 10 pounds in 30 days and still have time for my family?”
Focus on the HOW… not on your current situation… or what you failed at in the past.
Write the your goal on your vision board. Look at it everyday. Find images that reflect how you will feel, look and act when you achieve your goal.
And then take action. Everyday. Review your goal in the morning… at night… anytime during the day. Remind yourself of your goal. Laser focus on it. The more energy you funnel toward what you want… the greater your success.
Focusing on what you don’t have… what might go wrong… what someone said or did… what you’re not good at… what you don’t like… serves no one and will only hold you back.
Be aware of the words you say to yourself. When you hear a negative statement. Stop and rephrase. If it’s… I can’t afford that… ask yourself “HOW can I get the money to take that cruise?”
Believe in yourself… even if past events tell you otherwise. Focus on the life you WANT. Ask yourself power questions. Know what you want, take aim and take action.